I had always felt like the most successful role model to children when they needed a friend, parent or teacher. The skill of handling conflicts, helping with homework and aiding in the choice of toys always made me feel content with my abilities in handling children. However, I realized how much my perception was disoriented when I had the chance to interact with Dr Becky A. Bailey’s Conscious Discipline model. In my opinion, the model is very insightful on how individuals can aid children with self-regulation and discipline. Conscious discipline is a social-emotional learning model developed for parents and teachers to train children’s self-regulation and discipline. According to….., there are various elements related to discipline that individuals lack, and hence they behave the way their parents or teachers used to. Most of the time, individuals always think that it is their responsibility to change the behaviours of the children they interact with and shape a positive future for them. In doing so, individuals use the traditional models of reward and punishment to instil discipline and think that they are creating a momentum of change of behaviour in the children. However, according to my analysis, threats and encouragement are often used to offer children only two options to choose how they will behave; they have to choose between reward and punishment due to their actions. In that case, children grow and become adults, they have minimal or no skills to solve life problems and stressors or conflicts they meet daily. Eventually, we get a society that is violent, hateful, revengeful and competitive, among other negative elements within our communities. …….. offers a solution to this societal problem by noting that threatening or punishing a child makes them develop fear; where the emotion is kept within their unconscious mind, only to retrieve every time required. If children can be taught how to make choices of behaving in the right manner without relying on any reinforcement, probably the future society can be different. Modern society thrives in competition, and without the power of free will, individuals cannot extend love, empathy, and care for each other in their life. Individuals can learn to be accountable for their mistakes, accepts situations as they are and use the power of self-control to make choices at an early age. It is important to note that, just like adults, children differentiate between hatred and love, care and disregard, empathy and apathy, appreciation and unwantedness. They learn how to develop coping mechanisms and survival tactics to adapt and thrive in this competitive and disunited society as they grow. However, the world can be a better place if only individuals can practice the knowledge found in conscious discipline.
In conclusion, I have noted that the conscious discipline model teaches individuals how to utilize the system of punishment, reward and threats and promote the power of free will other than hindering it. It trains individuals to understand the three states of mind; the executive, which carries the wisdom for problem-solving, and the emotional, which is unconscious programming that seeks connection and survival, which triggers our instinct to find a safe spot. Instead of offering reward or punishment options, I have noted that I can articulately ask guiding questions that would present a feeling of love and aid the child in becoming accountable for their behaviour. These questions can help the child realize that I am interested in their success and unity.
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